Careless Interpretation : The Diary of A Music-Junkie

"Dasar tolol…dasar badut! dasar badut tolol….!"

geez.. stressing week. damn professors.

as i decided in the previous blog, i wanna write something about vina bilang cinta. and i wanna do this half indonesia half english, as i grow accustomed to in the last blog.

vina bilang cinta. a trivial name for a film actually, but one which promises big things for me. first for the word vina, as one of the singer whom i respected so in indonesian music history, and second for the word love, which filmical implementation always promises a cool breeze of freshness which i would gladly relate to anyday of the week. especially this week =P

what is it with Rachel Maryam? why is she so stunningly sexy in this film? reminiscing back her back catalog of films, i can’t remember when she was this sexy and adorable. that strawberry thing? hmm not really. arisan? better. but come on, she played a hillbilly girl there. this.. is take off. at least for me. perhaps it’s her sassy acting. but not exactly though, well at least not all. during the movie i realized a lot of things. one of them of course is her beautiful acting. second, is the notion of that Face she got… that face… that great actress face.. the beautiful but at the same time deadly-convincing face, which, for a moment, makes you think that everything she said and do is real. but you don’t care because it’s just so cute and adorable.. and the next thing you know, you’re falling for that face either you want it or not.. bad bad girl you rachel maryam. you made me fell in love with that face.

nonetheless, rachel’s acting was also dashing. i can strangely (sort of) feel what silia feels. it seems like she had a complete control over my emotions. when she cried, i felt utter sympathy. when she smiled, i felt happy. when she cursed, i felt bitterness but when she’s forgiving, i felt proud. it’s funny that i can relate to her so easily.. maybe its a sign of great acting.. or maybe.. its just me.

looking at rachel in that film, roling in as a character named Silia, i can’t help but remember my good old friend jo. If silia were real, she would be named jo. she would live in bandung =D, and she..like jo.. would have leo as her starsign. a commanding person, hard to impress, totally defensive, but yet one may know, that inside her heart, lives a sweet little bunny hahahahaha. no. jo would kill me for this. ok. not bunny. but just a nice optimistic, shining, love-loving girl. (jo, forgive me man =>).

the character of the role that silia play in this film, a sassy girl, is a truly interesting character to watch. it is the main key to this film. and its keeping me at the edge of my seat at almost all times, anxiously waiting for her constantly principal-driven defenses against the constantly love-pouring delon. for me, personally, i would always be interested on what it is really that makes a girl sassy, or defensive, or something like that. (of course in the film this was explained). but thats not the end of it.. i would also really like to see how far is this sassiness, defensiveness gonna last… Now, for those of you taking attention, when i made that statement, actually implicitly, i’m suggesting that: sassiness is a thing that not gonna last. the same with defensiveness: its gonna tire itself out. this is what i believe when it comes to defensive topic in a relationship (and i think what the maker of this film believe also (and also other maker of films including a role of sassy girl as its main character)). that being defensive is not how its suppose to be in a relationship. its gonna end. and it also does so in the film. in the end, silia gives up. why? because exactly the same with my reason.. because you’re gonna get tired of doing so… and life being tired is not life.. there are other ways where we could go on in a relationship without being tired. hell, im not saying that i know how are we suppose to have a relationship, but im saying that i know how are we not suppose to have a relationship. there are other nicer ways to live a relationship you know…
but of course, i could understand that, silia in this case, isn’t being defensive as the result of her truly own choice, but as the outcome of her dark past. even silia’s father repeatedly mentioned to delon’s character, that silia is actually a nice girl, it is the situation that she didn’t wanted that made her what she is. Isn’t this oftenly happen to us? how situations that we don’t want forced us to behave not like who we are. that is why, saying how we are not suppose to be defensive is easy, but to do it? thats a completely different matter.. to do it, means we have to overcome the situation that force us the way we are (sassy, defensive, etc). and that prooves to be hard.. sometimes it took time. sometimes it took the passing of a person we love. and sometimes.. it took an extremely patient man, which in silia’s case, delon.   
now this film, directed by a guy called indra…hmm i forgot the name, succesfully captured this battle of overcoming the situation (and the forces of the past) within silia’s self and brought it to the audiences to "feel" it along. combined with the extremely catchy dialogues, this film is bound for enjoyment and rollercoaster ride in feelings. the plot of a series of constant rejections, disappointments, heartbreaks and make-up continually create some sort of tension. as i said, putting my ass in the edge of my seat. some credits therefore goes to the scriptwriter. i love the script and the screenplay. the directing isn’t spectacular but conceivable. overall the film is highly rated in my book.

The Power of Vocal

delon played well in the film, a bit banci-ish but still acceptable. supported by him covering vina’s songs, i have come easily to like his acting. one thing also i took from this film is how it remind me that the power of vocal is incredible. delon’s voice is awesome and its powerful. often people forget about that. often i forget about that. its just in the world of vocoder and effects processor like now, various instruments that that were invented to accompany singing and not to forget the re-birth of punk and the reigning of alternative music that almost neglects totally the formal harmonial education in vocal singing, that constantly filled the media screens, we often forget the power of the beautiful human voice. delon and this film reminds me of that. and not only them, in fact the competition indonesia idols was one of the actor that remind me that as well. it is always nice to hear a nice voice singing. it’s possibly because its the most natural instrument known to man, and therefore one we could relate and enjoy very well. amidst all this evolution of vocal quality-abandoning music, i (and i hope you too) will always remain true to the appreciation to true quality human voice.

Vina Panduwinata

as i said earlier, this film embodies the two characters that i will forever welcome. love and vina. vina.. hmm such a nice name to remember.. you can’t blame one for conjuring up the image of an 80’s kribo-haired woman with extremely light, merdu, and sometimes kinky voice. she resembles all the eccentricness and character of the 80’s days. from oversized clothes, with paddings, to singing about birds, to the jazzy sounds of indonesia music, she was definitely the icon of the 80s. in this film, delon played a character named trisno who is devoted to singing her songs. reasonably because these songs were the only things that his mother left him when she died. for taking this whole film to started around vina panduwinata’s songs, the great diva of the 80’s, i salute the producers. i mean who wouldve bring up vina panduwinata as the base for story of a film especially these days, when rap and hip hop and punk rules the airwaves. my first impression when i first time heard about the this movie (a movie that involve vina’s songs), the first thing that popped into my mind was the guy who made this must be, if not the same angkatan with me, must be at least older than me. well, he gotta be.. to have a self experience on vina’s songs, to really understand the power of vina’s songs.. only people from angkatan2 kya ginilah, could really grasp that power then later transform it into dareness to re-create it in the forms of other arts such as films.
vina’s songs and many others songs from the indo-jazz heydays are timeless as far as im concern. last time i heard Dunia Yang Kudamba by Vina Panduwinata, i felt trembling all over the place. the incredible chorus just lights my head up. there was a sense of sincerity in it. something you could barely found in this world now. there was a sense of innocence and love of melodies and music in it. there was also enjoyment too and the feel of having fun in making music. nothing about money or wealth or stardom. there was nothing like that in the old days, especially scaled comparing now. where now you could make a millionaire out of artists, those days, the most creative artists often remain descent. there was no exposition in the scale of todays artists, there were no gossip shows, artists are about making music, not image. and yet, they still made some of the best music this country had ever seen. i salute the class of 80’s.

Reflection: The Indonesian Film

this again improbable appreciation from me toward indo film prompts me to ask an important question: was my rating mechanism depreciating over the time? im usually very critical over hollywood movies, but now, for indo movies, im easily impressed. let alone indo independent movies, i have to grown to realize that i enjoy indo love movies by now. was it something that happened to me? or was it something in the film? or was it really that indo film is increasingly very good??
well… perhaps the first was not the case really. i believe that there was something in the movie. and also that indo films are increasingly good.
looking back, i realize that i had a lot of fun watching indo movies especially since the latest resurrection of indo film industry. but at the same time i still hate hollywood crap whenever i unconsciouly choose them in cinema. so i guess there’s nothing wrong with my movie rating mechanism for sure.. so, then what??…
well, i can’t prove it now, but i guess its the relation i made with the recent indo films. the familiarity of the habits, the language, the place, the people, all fuels me for instant relations with the movies. and the best indo film i saw now, creditably, made sure that these relation is strong. they made sure that the proceeding scenes really could happen in indonesia. look at Arisan, and realize that it can truly happen here. that there could be very well possibility that these kinds of people exist in our society. then look at Ada Apa Dengan Cinta? it gracefully explores the love flings between highschoolers in such a realistic situation which could very well be happening in our high schools right this moment. the realistical situation depicted by these films guarantees that we could relate to them more than others. because the settings are real and natural. specifically, real and natural to happen in indonesia, in our hometown that we know and love, and not someplace else, like hollywood or in the western. i found out that the worse of the indonesian films is the ones who are less relatable to our situation. for instance, the corny sinetron where everybody seems to be filthy rich or lucky, or college films that seems just beyond our reality with its gorgeous girls, unimaginably rich kids, excessively-glamour parties, and so on, and so on. The relation that could grow between an audience and a movie is strong. and it can encompass easily hollywood-ian film markets in indonesia when realized. just like the blasting ticket sales that AADC, Arisan, or even Jelangkung showed.

…"kyanya udah jelas bahwa dalam diri gw selalu ada seorang anak sma yang selalu merindukan untuk melakukan apa yang mestinya dia lakukan dari dulu kala"..

malam taun baru kemaren, gw menghabiskan jam2 terakhir sebelum midnight dengan nonton vcd bareng sama anak2. as a friendly reminder, kebetulan hari itu juga ulangtaun temen gw asep. ini ulangtaun sekaligus taun baruan pertamanya di berlin. so we are there to celebrate that. both. the complete cast of characters are candy, nukie, esse, andre, ndon, asep, and myself.
malam itu, gw bilang kita penuh keberuntungan, karena kita kedapetan dua film yang indonesia yang, i have to say, bagus bagus. yang pertama, diputar sebelom jam 12 adalah Vina bilang Cinta, starring the stunning Rachel Maryam (yang akting sassy-nya bikin gw gemes aja ama dia - i find her very sexy in such situation) dan Delon. Yang kedua, setelah jam 12 dan setelah kita maen a little bit of firework and petasan (atau minibombs if i were to say it in English), adalah Catatan Akhir Sekolah, film yang menginspirasikan blog ini dan sekaligus film yg punya catatan sendiri buat kita semua berhubung everybody punya "catatan akhir" alias pengalaman2 unik sendiri di sekolahnya masing2 (except perhaps esse karena sekolahnya cewe semua wakakakak canda se). Oh ya for those of you who wonders why this blog is written in half indonesian, go blame my friend nukie, he’s the one inspired and sekaligus remind me how linguistically confusing my blog can sometimes (atau all the time ki?) become. so on this blog, i decided to write in indonesian, well at least half. Di film kedua ini, berperan sebagai pemeran utama temen gw/adik kelas gw Vino. a nice kid, considering he was and now a bigger star. terakhir ketemu dia pas talkshow yang di host oleh hardrock fm di The Cellar, Bandung untuk pembukaan film dia yang berjudul 30 Hari Mencari Cinta. starring also the cute and tiny Nirina (where the hell she is now?..ups forgot gw kan di berlin ya? mana tau!!). Selain dia, ada banyak aktor2 lain yang gw ga tau, but as later proved, acted well.

Gw punya indulgensi khusus ama soundtrack di film ini, karena mereka up2date, cocok ama selera gw, dan yang terpenting dan maha penting, cocok dan sinkron ama feel ceritanya. The music director, bonky bip, had done a good job in choosing the music (or perhaps also compose??). Inevitably punk muncul banyak di film ini, seperti yang udah gw duga untuk film2 bertema anak2 remaja jaman sekarang (belagu amat gw, kya jaman dulu aja.. (but alot of people say that lo, that im soo jaman dulu)). Generasi2 terakhir dari evolusi musik punk emang cocok untuk jadi setting musik di film yang penuh energi dan youth impulses kya gini. Dari raucous pure punk guitaring seperti yang digerus the Sigits di awal vcd sampai aggresivity-blocked indie punk yang dijunjung sang sweet Arina di Mocca band, serta juga berbagai variasi musical landscape di film ini yang masih melalui inkubasi dari rahim punk dan alternative, semuanya dengan cocok mewarnai film ini, menambah gregetnya dari sisi musikalitas.
Saat2 seperti inilah, tanpa bisa gw sangkal, adalah saat2 paling exciting dalam perfilman indo.

Tapi diatas musical directingnya yang udah bagus, fotografinya yang juga bagus, ide2 sang sutradara yang kreatif sekali, ada hal lain yang bikin gw cinta nih film, dan itu adalah temanya: tentang anak sekolah. but not just anak sekolah you’ll see..karena banyak film2 indo tentang anak sekolah yang bapuk (mungkin karena menonjolkan terlalu banyak kekayaan dan konsumtifitas yang ga dimiliki 99% penduduk indo lainnya - ingat Untukmu?). tapi karena ceritanya yang sincere, jujur, dan mengekspos kegiatan2 anak sekolahan yang, terus terang aja, udah lama gw hentikan dan lalu gw lupain sejak keluar sma. Cerita tentang 3 anak yang biasa2 aja di sekolah (forgive of course the picturization of the word biasa in this film, karena of course for artistical purposes they have to look GOOD in the film - notice that spiky indian mohawk hair (vino), britpoppish hair (marcel), songoku dragonball hair (ramon) and all that sort of stuff.) yang bisa ada aja di sekolah manapun. Yang mana mereka, as any highschool kid sebenarnya.., sedang mencari aktualisasi diri bagi mereka. pengen tenar, pengen famous di sekolah, dsbnya. a very senseful aim for teenagers really. bedanya dengan their other kumpels (temen2) adalah kalo temen2 mereka ada yang ngeband, nari, olahraga, baca puisi untuk mencari aktualisasi itu, mereka cukup aja dengan bikin film… And not just a film, but a documentation of kehidupan murid2 di sekolahnya. bagaimana mereka mencontek, pacaran, ngebandel (nyimeng, nyabu,dll), berantem (tapi gw ga liat tawuran ya - perhaps its too harsh for this film and so requires a completely different film), dan sebagainya. Yang mana baik disengaja maupun ga disengaja, film ini udah menguak sisi2 lama kita yang udah lama kita tinggalkan (at least untuk anak2 angkatan gw sih - maaf ya ini hak prerogatif yang punya blog ini untuk ngambil sudut pandang dari anak angkatan manapun yang dia inginkan). Faktanya bahwa everybody was once seorang student dan menjalani kehidupannya disekitar sekolahan menyatakan bahwa siapapun bisa relate dengan film ini dengan baik (except maybe ~20% penduduk indo yang belom pernah mengecap sekolahan). Yang menarik juga adalah how it occurs to me bahwa kyanya udah lama sekali kyanya gw udah meninggalkan sekolah yang gw cintai tapi sekaligus ga terasa terlalu lama juga karena ingatan gw masih fresh banget tentang kejadian2 di sekolah itu dan perasaan2 yang pernah gw rasakan di sekolah itu. One can help but remember, after seeing this film, his/her highschool days. dan persis itu yang terjadi ama gw. gw jadi menerawang balik. to those good old days.

The film is good in telling and explaining the energetic behavior that lies in every high school kid. the feeling of restlesness. the feeling of impatience of doing something. the burst of ideas. the curiosities. the youth energy. dialog2, bahasa tubuh, fashion2 yang trendysome semuanya yang ada di film itu dapat merefleksikannya. itulah gambaran anak muda indo yang sebenar2nya, walaupun itu menjadi zeitgeist untuk masa sekarang saja, tapi spirit keenergetikannya tetap sama di berbagai jaman dan angkatan anak muda yang pernah ada di tanah air kita ini.  kita ga bisa melepaskan dari fakta bahwa kita pernah jadi anak2 muda itu (bahkan masih), entah kemana anak2 muda dalam diri kita itu pergi sekarang, tapi kita were them.. gw merindukan masa2 itu dimana gw bisa total hantem sana sini, full energi sekaligus jg gw menyesalkan masa2 itu dimana gw ga sepenuhnya memanfaatkan peluang gw untuk be energetic dan cuek. dua rasa ini campur aduk sekarang dalam hati gw.
i wish i could have done this..i wish i could have done that… banyak wishes wishes yang tiba2 muncul dalam benak gw. kenapa gw ga secuek mereka2 ini yang ada difilm ini misalnya? toh cuek is what anak sma characterized for. kenapa gw ga sebandel anak2 sma ini misalnya? toh masa2 sma itu masa2 yang emang bandel itu disyahkan. gw menyesal dan merasa tertipu oleh ortu dan lingkungan orang dewasa disekitar gw yang terus menerus baik secara langsung ataupun tidak langsung menyarankan bahwa anak baik itu anak yang tidak bandel, bahwa anak baik itu anak yang selalu rajin belajar. padahal apakah bandel itu artinya tidak baik? apakah selalu rajin belajar itu artinya baik? kalo gitu misalnya gw nyontek itu artinya gw akan jahat sama orang  misalnya?? ga kan? its a whole different thing - being bandel dan being bad. it is a kid’s right to be bandel, ingat2lah itu. karena dari bandel itulah mereka belajar. seperti bayi yang menyentuh segala sesuatunya untuk mengaplikasikan sense 3 dimensinya, begitu jugalah kita dulu, menyentuh segala sesuatu untuk membangun sense apa yang baik dan buruk di dunia yang baru buat kita ini.
gw juga nyesel kenapa sih dulu i was too wise.. terlahir sebagai seorang anak yang pemikir dan libra lagi (banyak nimbang), gw udah biasa punya pemikiran yang agak2 sedikit jauh dari orang lain. konsep2 gw biasanya beda ama orang, dan gw terus terang ga pernah perduli ama konsep orang lain untuk gw ikutin. gw punya konsep sendiri dan itulah yg gw junjung dan menjadi basis perilaku gw. jadilah gw anak yang suka dibilang beda dan suka dibilang lebih dewasa dari umurnya. was i proud to be said that? hell, i was. but you know what? not anymore. karena keputusan ‘wise’ gw misalnya untuk ga ngejar cewe pujaan gw di sma misalnya, sekarang gw sesali dengan amat sangat. kenapa ga? kenapa ga? sambil mengantuk2an kepala gw ke dinding terdekat dari pala gw. padahal masa itulah yang paling enak buat ngejar cewe, tepatnya being CUEK dan careless in ngejar cewe (hell, that was sma boys are supposed to do right?). malahan gw mundur karena gw ngerasa everybody was already chasing her dan dia ga bakal ngegubris gw karena dia sombongnya setengah mati… i shouldve.. i shouldve… banyak i shouldve i shouldve yang muncul di benak gw.
kenapa gw ga misalnya cuek aja dan nekat aja ama kepala sekolah gw dalam hal manggil GIGI ke sekolah gw di acara pensi sekolah gw? padahal itu kan mestinya udah jadi kewajiban gw karena gw adalah ketua panitianya sendiri. kenapa ga? kenapa ga? kepala gw mulai berdarah karena berkali2 gw antukkan ke dinding. gw ngerasa gw bentar lagi gegar otak karena gw ngerasa antukan2 itu makin kencang. kenapa?? toh gw sekarang ga takut lagi kl gw bakal diskors, shit skors itu ga akan diinget2 lagi setelah elo lulus sma, WHY DIDNT ANYBODY TELL ME THAT??? Kenapa gw dulu BEGITU TAKUT ama fu*king punishment, skors, dikeluarin dan sebagainya???!!??!? coba bayangin, kapan lagi gw punya kesempatan untuk melakukan sesuatu yang great buat sekolah gw, dan yang paling terutama buat DIRI GW SENDIRIIIIII!!!!

Shit!!!!

Gw ngerasa gw kurang bandel dulu.. i could have done more, i definitely could have done more… and that feeling of regret will scar my heart for the rest of my life….ga cuma soal pensi, tapi jg banyak hal yang lain lagi yang pernah muncul di hidup gw selama gw di sekolah gw tercinta itu…
are all this pointing us to a conclusion???
do all you can at when you’re possibly can…. maybe, this is something for all of you to really think about..tapi liat dari pengalaman gw, disaat gw tuh harusnya bandel dan cuek, gw nggak (or at least kurang), and now i regret it. so do the best you can when you can and where you’re suppose to! don’t miss out the opportunity. gw tau ngomong emang enak, dan sebenarnya in reality elo akan selalu diteken dari segala penjuru oleh macem2 pressure yang ada disekitarlo. but i can tell you one think, that if you don’t do the bestest you can for a thing, the regret will scar you for the rest of your life. and that might hurt. much.
semoga pengalaman2 ini membangun gw jadi orang yang lebih baik, orang yang bisa memanfaatkan situasi dengan baik dan sepenuh2nya.

In the end, the movie Catatan Akhir Sekolah indeed means some emotional value for me. Bukan karena temanya yang anak sma aja (karena as i said, udah banyak crap indo film yang bercerita tentang anak sma), tapi gaya bercerita dan eksposisme energisitasnya yang mampu menggugah lagi perasaan dan kenangan2 lama yang pernah dengan sangat kereng mengisi memori gw. Akhirnya, gw masih tetep bahagia karena i had such a great highschool days, at least menurut gw yah (yah abis siapa lagi? kan yang ngejalanin hidup gw ya gw..), bs jadi temen semua anak2, maen ama semua anak2 tanpa pandang bulu kelas atau kubu, osis, pacaran, bs bawa mobil waktu kelas tiga, berkelas di kelas dua yang seru abis (djigo - 2-5), kelas tiga yang jaya abis (titit - 3 ipa 3 top), mentorin anak kelas 1 yang lucu2 dan menyenangkan2, dan yang paling terutama adalah ketua pelaksana panitia pensi 99 dan anggota rombongan madol massal hari senin pasca-pensi ke dufan (1/3 angkatan kelas 3) gara2 GIGI ga jadi manggung, hingga besoknya dituduh jadi konspiratornya ama guru2 (gara2 gw ketua panitianya), dan lain-lain dan lain-lain dan lain-lainnya.. tapi tetep diatas semua itu ada hal2 yang gw ngerasa mestinya gw lakukan tapi gw urungkan cuma karena secara langsung atau ga langsung gw takut dicap sebagai anak yang bandel, bukan anak yang baik, bukan anak yang patuh, dan sebagainya. yang mana padahal kl gw jalanin, mungkin hal2 yang terjadi ga akan seburuk dan separanoid yang selalu gw pikirin. untuk hal2 yang kya itu, i will forever regret it for the rest of my life.
Being bandel and creative, seperti yang digambarkan di Catatan Akhir Sekolah, is a healthy way of spending your teenhood/sma-hood. I can imagine, for example, how wise those three kid (played by ramon, marcel, dan vino in Catatan Akhir Sekolah) will become when they, for example, become fathers to their children. because they understood, they know what its like to be a teenager with a constant rebellious feeling in their stomach, because theyve been there.. and for that understanding, there is no replacement. jadilah bandel, for those of you out there who still in highschool, and learn from it, cause its your right to be….

next: vina bilang cinta