Careless Interpretation : The Diary of A Music-Junkie

sometimes you have to make some compromises in life. this is one of its stories..

sometimes you have to compromise and take the better one from two bad option. this story is about letting yourself hurt instead of letting worse things happen, for example losing a friendship.. even though a friendship is almost lost this afternoon.
both are bad, but if you pick the wrong option then things could get really worse. im happy if im just called selfish or egoistic, thats fine by me. instead of sacrificing friendship.. which is exactly what would happen if i decided to do the other option.

it seems that this kind of thing has happened to me often. where i get to make a very hard decision, on whether to get myself hurt or letting other people hurt double. so far though i have managed to think clearly and just let myself hurt. and let myself be considered as egoistic, or sensitive, or whatever, which in fact is just an outside appearance that i made. i determined that i would lie and let myself hurt instead of telling the truth which could hurt the other guy twice. at least this way, that person is angry at me for better reasons (e.g. selfish, egoistic me). if i decided to tell the truth, then things would go abruptly worse for all parties, because he/she would be angry to me for worse reason, which i can’t deny the virtue.

sometimes its okay to hide the truth. to keep people from hurting. you can’t blame the truth because it just shows up without anybody controlling it. it just have its opinion without you able to deny it. thats the truth, you can’t deny it. and sometimes the truth doesnt sound so good to other people. therefore youve got to lie. youve got to act. this is for the sake of that people. this is for avoiding those people to get hurt. however, thats not the end of the story. the bitter part is when you lie, then you will be called a liar, when you act as something you are not, then you will be called everything you act. it could be selfish or egoistic or whatever they wanna call you. but inside you know you could take everything, every mock, every anger from those other people as long as you can keep those truth under the surface. but in the process, you are hurt, you are badly hurt. but you know better. at least God knows youre doing the right thing. He knows that you’re in fact protecting those people from getting hurt, even if the way is by making yourself look temperament, egoistic, selfish, ignorant, and all that you are not. you are just creating a situation so people can be diverted from the truth. instead, they could focus on you and your bad behavior.

i keep telling to myself, i know better. and im not doing this for no cause (hey im not stupid nor a bad man). its for the truth and for the sake of people’s feeling. this is the only way to balance it both. this is the best of the worst situations. so let me be the blacksheep. let me take the punches… - bono